Overheard IV

Walking up the High Street in Tunbridge Wells, I see a couple with a large Newfoundland dog – no more than a pup really. They have stopped and are chatting to a woman with a profusion of long, grey hair, chunky thighs encased in red corduroy, and a matching fair isle jumper and hat. The woman is gesturing enthusiastically and as I pass, I hear her say the following:

“I mean that dog, to me, is beautiful. That dog, to me, is a child. I mean you can get close to it like a child.”

The canine in question lies prostrate on the pavement, oblivious to the woman's words, which is just as well; she sounds ridiculous.

* Click on the fair isle link - it's worth it.