With an astounding lack of self awareness, the short, fat, belligerent middle-aged man who pushed his way into the packed tube carriage, literally knocking me off my feet, starts to complain about how crowded it is in there. I am tempted to tell him it would be a lot less crowded if he hadn’t barged his way in so aggressively, disgusting, big belly and all, but I keep quiet, and listen to the conversation he is now having with another man, equally rude, who shoved his way on.Fat Cunt (puffing and grumbling): ‘It’s no way to live a life.’
Tall Cunt (justifying himself): ‘I’ve got a pregnant girlfriend at London Bridge and I can’t be late. Do you do this everyday?’
Fat Cunt (incredulously): ‘God, no! I live in Norfolk. I come down once a week.’
Tall Cunt: ‘Oh, have you got a train to catch?’
Fat Cunt (unbelievably – revealing himself to have behaved so badly for no reason whatsoever): ‘No, no hurry. I don’t know how people can live like this. It’s a disgrace.’
Tall Cunt: ‘Yes. I usually walk, across the Millennium Bridge; it’s beautiful.’
Fat Cunt: ‘Right. I’ve got to get off now. Typical; the platform’s on the other side.’
Tall Cunt: ‘Well, you seemed to hold your own back there. And you’re not alone, lots of people are getting off.’
Fat Cunt (with utter twatishness): ‘Ha ha ha! I can be as obstinate as the rest of them. Mind your pantyhose, ladies, I’m coming through!’
I nearly puked.
4 comments:
I'm afraid I might not have been able to keep quiet!
You know, I never heard teh C word used against a man before.
They sound like fat, lazy inconsiderate sloths.
I've not your grace to bite my tongue in such situations.
"Mind your pantyhose, Ladies?" -Wow, that's a first.
August
I bet it's a heck of a long time since he's been on nodding terms with either ladies' pantyhose or ladies, heheh.
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